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| The French work ethic of George W. Bush By JESSE DARLAND Opinion Editor John Kerry is getting a lot of flak because of his “French connection.” According to a story in Monday’s Boston Globe, Tom DeLay recently began a meeting by saying, “Good morning, or as John Kerry would say, ‘Bonjour.’” And, according to the same article, the RNC released an “April Fool’s” TV commercial that repeatedly grouped Kerry with the French in ridicule. Unlike the 1971 Gene Hackman flick with the notoriously bad soundtrack, Kerry’s French connection has nothing to do with importing cocaine into the United States. Instead, he’s being attacked for being too unmanly, wimpish and out of touch with the rest of America. At least, that’s according to the spin. Kerry hasn’t made things easier for himself. After all, Kerry is a bit of a blue-blooded aristocrat, was Kerry the one who said he had the support of mysterious foreign leaders (Uzbekistan’s? Turkmenistan’s? the inquiry continues). But the analogy only makes sense with a certain understanding of what it means to be French, an understanding like: French people are a bunch of lazy, overly-intellectual cowards. If you google for “French military victories” you’ll find a hilarious (and, I suspect, highly erroneous) account of France’s less-than-illustrious past. If Bush is the meat-eating, (non-alcoholic) beer-drinking, NASCAR-watching all American he portrays himself as, Kerry is a limp-wristed, lily-livered, wine-drinking, effete elitist. After all, he’s got that French air about him. (No offense is intended to Georgetown’s professors or students of French, of course. Just speaking the language doesn’t turn you into a “cheese-eating surrender monkey,” as someone once said, but you’ll need to be careful. Kerry is fluent in French and, as you can see, it’s warped him quite considerably. Just make sure you follow your Representatives’ example and refer to yourselves as students of the “Freedom” language.) In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit a certain weakness for French cinema, but some Republicans’ interest in the apparently evilness of all things French has me intrigued. Bush as the American candidate and Kerry as the French candidate has a certain jingoistic appeal, since voting for such a foreign-esque leader like Kerry would be tantamount to treason. Then again, as the level-headed and well-reasoned author Ann Coulter has pointed out often enough, we Democrats are traitors already. What’s often overlooked in this debate, however, is that George W. Bush, Kerry’s opponent in the 2004 election, has a French connection of his own. Bush doesn’t have the same snobbish New England personality that many see as French, but he has something just as valuable: a thoroughly French work ethic. On January 1, 2000, France’s work week was shortened to 35 hours. According to some statistics, the French work fewer hours per week than any other nation in the European Union. This is of course right in line with the famous laziness of the French, which Milton attributed to their preference for sour wines. A story in last Friday’s Washington Post pointed out that President Bush has spent 500 days of his presidency, or more than 40%, vacationing at Camp David, Kennebunkport, Maine, or his ranch in Crawford, Texas. To put it another way, it’s like Bush took a paid vacation from January 1 to May 24 every year he’s been in office. Now, being the leader of the most prosperous and powerful nation on earth is a 24-hour job, and I can understand Bush needing some down time. But nearly five solid months a year? Even after 9/11? That almost sounds irresponsible and perhaps (to some) criminal. At the very least, it sounds downright French. When Condeleeza Rice testified before the 9/11 Commission last week, a good portion of the panel’s questions centered on a Presidential Daily Briefing delivered to Bush on August 6, 2001 that warned bin Laden was going to strike inside the United States. The president received this briefing during a particularly long stretch he spent on his ranch in the summer of 2001, the so-called “Summer of Terror.” What was the president doing, exactly? Growing grapes to make some wine? No matter who wins the election in November, he’ll need to watch his back. French connections like Kerry’s and Bush’s have undermined many past presidencies. After all, who can forget those photographs of Monica Lewinski—wearing that beret? |
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